1
00:00:01,600 --> 00:00:03,000


2
00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:04,320


3
00:00:04,320 --> 00:00:07,080

dingy castles, daring knights

4
00:00:07,080 --> 00:00:09,760

cutthroat Celts, awful Egyptians

5
00:00:09,760 --> 00:00:12,560

punishment from ancient times

6
00:00:12,560 --> 00:00:13,880


7
00:00:13,880 --> 00:00:15,320

savage, fierce and toothless

8
00:00:15,320 --> 00:00:18,040

mean and measly Middle Ages

9
00:00:18,040 --> 00:00:20,800


10
00:00:20,800 --> 00:00:23,360


11
00:00:23,360 --> 00:00:26,160


12
00:00:26,160 --> 00:00:27,600


13
00:00:27,600 --> 00:00:31,880


14
00:00:31,880 --> 00:00:33,680
NARRATOR: Empires.

15
00:00:33,680 --> 00:00:37,160
Nations that conquer other nations
and take them over,

16
00:00:37,160 --> 00:00:40,520
enslaving or crushing the people
as they go.

17
00:00:40,520 --> 00:00:42,440
Like the Roman Empire.

18
00:00:42,440 --> 00:00:44,520
Oi! Clear off! This is my home!

19
00:00:44,520 --> 00:00:46,720
I am so sorry. I had no idea.

20
00:00:46,720 --> 00:00:48,360
Oh, right. Fair enough, then.

21
00:00:48,360 --> 00:00:49,760
Just kidding!

22
00:00:49,760 --> 00:00:51,160
It's part of my empire now.

23
00:00:51,160 --> 00:00:53,760
And, once you're the subject
of an empire,

24
00:00:53,760 --> 00:00:55,640
you can kiss goodbye
to your rights...

25
00:00:55,640 --> 00:00:56,800
Oh, come on.

26
00:00:56,800 --> 00:00:57,880
..your money...
What?!

27
00:00:57,880 --> 00:00:59,520
..your natural resources...
Aagh!

28
00:00:59,520 --> 00:01:02,240
..and, in some cases, your lives.
Aaaaaagh!

29
00:01:02,240 --> 00:01:04,960
The Roman Empire
crushed all in its path

30
00:01:04,960 --> 00:01:07,560
from Northern England to Egypt.

31
00:01:07,560 --> 00:01:10,320
Yes, empires
become huge territories,

32
00:01:10,320 --> 00:01:12,440
each under one supreme ruler,

33
00:01:12,440 --> 00:01:14,440
like the Persian Empire

34
00:01:14,440 --> 00:01:16,840
that smashed its way from Greece...

35
00:01:16,840 --> 00:01:18,360
..to India,

36
00:01:18,360 --> 00:01:21,360
and Luxembourg's
Luxembourgish Empire...

37
00:01:21,360 --> 00:01:22,680
Hang on.

38
00:01:22,680 --> 00:01:23,720
Aah!

39
00:01:23,720 --> 00:01:26,120
No empire for you,
little Luxembourg.

40
00:01:26,120 --> 00:01:28,320
You're not mighty enough.
Hmph!

41
00:01:28,320 --> 00:01:30,200
Unlike Spain's empire

42
00:01:30,200 --> 00:01:31,520
that was so powerful

43
00:01:31,520 --> 00:01:33,160
it destroyed other empires,

44
00:01:33,160 --> 00:01:36,520
like the Aztecs and the Incas
in the Americas.

45
00:01:36,520 --> 00:01:39,520
And what about Belgium's
colonial empire in Central Africa?

46
00:01:39,520 --> 00:01:41,640
They brutally forced Africans

47
00:01:41,640 --> 00:01:42,720
to work for them

48
00:01:42,720 --> 00:01:43,920
and killed anyone

49
00:01:43,920 --> 00:01:46,120
who stood in their way.

50
00:01:46,120 --> 00:01:47,600
Hang on. What's happening here?
Huh?!

51
00:01:47,600 --> 00:01:50,440
No, you're too small, Luxembourg!

52
00:01:51,600 --> 00:01:55,080
And, at the head of empires,
emperors and empresses.

53
00:01:55,080 --> 00:01:57,280
Like Emperor Napoleon of France,

54
00:01:57,280 --> 00:01:59,760
Alexander the Great
of the Macedonian Empire...

55
00:02:01,000 --> 00:02:02,080
..and finally,

56
00:02:02,080 --> 00:02:03,680
empress of the largest empire

57
00:02:03,680 --> 00:02:05,480
the world has ever known,

58
00:02:05,480 --> 00:02:06,680
Queen Victoria

59
00:02:06,680 --> 00:02:08,440
and her British Empire.

60
00:02:08,440 --> 00:02:10,480
Whoo! Yeah! Go, me!

61
00:02:10,480 --> 00:02:13,480
Me and all the other powerful
emperors and empresses

62
00:02:13,480 --> 00:02:15,040
throughout history.
(WHISTLES CASUALLY)

63
00:02:15,040 --> 00:02:17,240
Not you, Luxembourg.
Oh.

64
00:02:17,240 --> 00:02:18,920
Yeah, it's good to rule an empire,

65
00:02:18,920 --> 00:02:21,680
loved universally
by all your conquered people.

66
00:02:21,680 --> 00:02:23,720
(JEERING)
MAN: Rubbish!

67
00:02:23,720 --> 00:02:27,600
Strange. Is it possible that
not everyone likes being conquered?

68
00:02:27,600 --> 00:02:28,880
Why not?
Weird.

69
00:02:28,880 --> 00:02:31,040
Welcome to the rise and fall

70
00:02:31,040 --> 00:02:33,880
of Enormous Empires.

71
00:02:33,880 --> 00:02:37,120
So, empires are basically
powerful nations

72
00:02:37,120 --> 00:02:40,680
that keep taking over
less powerful ones.

73
00:02:40,680 --> 00:02:43,840
Alexander the Great's
massive Macedonian empire

74
00:02:43,840 --> 00:02:46,080
stretched across three continents,

75
00:02:46,080 --> 00:02:51,240
and his brilliant battle tactics
saw him conquer more and more land.

76
00:02:51,240 --> 00:02:53,600
Nothing seemed to slow him down.

77
00:02:53,600 --> 00:02:55,760
Well, almost nothing.

78
00:02:55,760 --> 00:02:57,240
Hm.

79
00:02:57,240 --> 00:02:59,600
NARRATOR: It's 329 BC,

80
00:02:59,600 --> 00:03:03,240
and Alexander the Great
is seeking to expand his empire

81
00:03:03,240 --> 00:03:04,840
further into Asia.

82
00:03:05,920 --> 00:03:08,160
For Alexander...the Great!

83
00:03:08,160 --> 00:03:10,360
For the Macedonian Empire!

84
00:03:10,360 --> 00:03:12,600
(STOMACH RUMBLES)
Oh...

85
00:03:12,600 --> 00:03:14,480
(STOMACH GURGLES)
(FARTS)

86
00:03:14,480 --> 00:03:16,760
Um, you guys, uh...carry on.

87
00:03:16,760 --> 00:03:19,080
(FARTS) Oh, no!

88
00:03:19,080 --> 00:03:22,720
(FARTS SLOPPILY) Ohh...

89
00:03:22,720 --> 00:03:24,320
What are you doing, sir?

90
00:03:24,320 --> 00:03:26,480
Uh, nothing! Carry on! (FARTS)

91
00:03:26,480 --> 00:03:27,760
Ugh. It's stopped.

92
00:03:28,880 --> 00:03:32,840
As I was saying,
for the Macedonian Empire!

93
00:03:32,840 --> 00:03:34,680
Sorry, sir - what was that?
What was what?

94
00:03:34,680 --> 00:03:37,480
You running off mid-battle. Is this
one of your brilliant strategies?

95
00:03:37,480 --> 00:03:40,280
Uh... Yeah. Sure. Yeah.

96
00:03:40,280 --> 00:03:41,520
Like that time we were fighting

97
00:03:41,520 --> 00:03:43,360
on a day that the calendar
said was unlucky,

98
00:03:43,360 --> 00:03:45,280
so you changed the calendar!

99
00:03:45,280 --> 00:03:47,080
BOTH: Huzzah!
Yeah.

100
00:03:47,080 --> 00:03:48,520
What's your brilliant strategy
this time?

101
00:03:48,520 --> 00:03:49,520
Um...

102
00:03:49,520 --> 00:03:51,280
Are you meeting with secret allies
behind the bush?

103
00:03:51,280 --> 00:03:53,600
Are there hidden troops back there?
Oh, no, no. Don't look.

104
00:03:53,600 --> 00:03:56,960
Just, uh, part of my
secret, hidden strategy.

105
00:03:56,960 --> 00:03:58,560
(STOMACH GURGLES)
(FARTS)

106
00:03:58,560 --> 00:04:00,920
I feel another strategy...coming on!

107
00:04:00,920 --> 00:04:03,280
(FARTS NOISILY)
Aaaagh!

108
00:04:03,280 --> 00:04:06,880
Just carry on fighting!
Yeah... Eugh.

109
00:04:06,880 --> 00:04:09,560
(FARTS SLOPPILY)

110
00:04:09,560 --> 00:04:11,680
It's OK. I'm fine.

111
00:04:11,680 --> 00:04:13,600
We all heard the poo noise.

112
00:04:13,600 --> 00:04:16,840
Even we heard the poo noise,
and we're on the other side!

113
00:04:16,840 --> 00:04:19,120
Alright! Fine!
Euuggh!

114
00:04:19,120 --> 00:04:20,720
I didn't want to tell you guys,
alright,

115
00:04:20,720 --> 00:04:23,160
but I may have drunk
some dodgy water

116
00:04:23,160 --> 00:04:26,120
because I've got, like,
a teeny bit of diarrhoea.

117
00:04:26,120 --> 00:04:27,520
(FARTS WETLY)
Oh, no! Ew!

118
00:04:27,520 --> 00:04:28,600
Don't overreact.

119
00:04:28,600 --> 00:04:30,600
I knew I smelled something
when we were crossing the river!

120
00:04:30,600 --> 00:04:32,280
You said it was
just funny-smelling mud.

121
00:04:32,280 --> 00:04:33,920
(FARTS SLOPPILY) Ohhh.

122
00:04:33,920 --> 00:04:35,960
it's like a waterfall
coming out of my bum.

123
00:04:35,960 --> 00:04:37,240
Oh, come on!

124
00:04:38,240 --> 00:04:39,600
(GRUNTS)

125
00:04:40,320 --> 00:04:43,440
Men! The Scythians are retreating.

126
00:04:43,440 --> 00:04:45,480
The day is ours!

127
00:04:45,480 --> 00:04:47,200
Huzzah!

128
00:04:47,200 --> 00:04:49,360
Come, let us embrace. (FARTS)

129
00:04:49,360 --> 00:04:51,440
Uh...actually, I, uh...

130
00:04:51,440 --> 00:04:54,360
..think I lost my sword somewhere,
so I'll probably go look for that.

131
00:04:54,360 --> 00:04:56,000
Well, it'll be here among the dead.

132
00:04:56,000 --> 00:04:58,640
(FARTS) Come, let us search
together. (FARTS LOUDLY)

133
00:04:58,640 --> 00:04:59,640
Actually, I've got...

134
00:04:59,640 --> 00:05:02,160
..I've got a huge battle tomorrow,
so I, uh...

135
00:05:02,160 --> 00:05:05,040
(FAKES YAWN) ..I might have...
I might have an early night.

136
00:05:05,040 --> 00:05:08,160
Fine. I was, um... (FARTS)
I was washing my hair anyway.

137
00:05:10,360 --> 00:05:11,480
Oh.

138
00:05:12,200 --> 00:05:13,600
NARRATOR: Head teacher Ruth Thomas

139
00:05:13,600 --> 00:05:15,880
has had to find a replacement
geography teacher

140
00:05:15,880 --> 00:05:21,080
after Mr Napoleon declared himself
emperor of France and invaded Italy.

141
00:05:21,080 --> 00:05:22,200
Welcome to:

142
00:05:24,080 --> 00:05:25,840
I mean,
he's a huge historical figure,

143
00:05:25,840 --> 00:05:30,440
but maybe a Mongol warlord shouldn't
be put in charge of 11-year-olds.

144
00:05:30,440 --> 00:05:32,600
I'm gonna keep an eye on this one.

145
00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:36,680
Class 7F's new geography teacher
is Genghis Khan.

146
00:05:36,680 --> 00:05:39,840
CLASS: Good morning,
Mr Genghis Khan.

147
00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:42,160
You know, I had
a tough life growing up.

148
00:05:42,160 --> 00:05:43,560
My family lost their home

149
00:05:43,560 --> 00:05:46,720
when my dad was killed
by another tribe.

150
00:05:46,720 --> 00:05:49,040
I dedicated myself
to protecting my family

151
00:05:49,040 --> 00:05:51,000
and bringing
the Mongol clans together

152
00:05:51,000 --> 00:05:53,880
so there would never be fighting
between us again.

153
00:05:53,880 --> 00:05:55,000
I'll leave you to it.

154
00:05:56,680 --> 00:05:58,720
One of the ways
I brought the clans together

155
00:05:58,720 --> 00:06:00,320
was by killing the other leaders!

156
00:06:00,320 --> 00:06:03,880
Did I mention I also killed my own
brother over a hunting rifle?

157
00:06:03,880 --> 00:06:05,200
Maybe write that down too.

158
00:06:05,200 --> 00:06:09,400
Mr Genghis Khan is a bit more
violent than our usual teachers.

159
00:06:09,400 --> 00:06:10,600
Apart from Mr Johnson.

160
00:06:10,600 --> 00:06:12,400
He threw a pencil at Josie Hillage.

161
00:06:12,400 --> 00:06:15,640
Now, who knows what this country is?
China.

162
00:06:15,640 --> 00:06:18,000
No. That's part of my Mongol Empire.

163
00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:20,040
And what about this one?
Iran.

164
00:06:20,040 --> 00:06:21,080
Nope. That's mine too.

165
00:06:21,080 --> 00:06:23,120
And that's mine. And that's mine.
That's mine. That's mine.

166
00:06:23,120 --> 00:06:26,320
In just 25 years, I conquered
more lands than the Romans did

167
00:06:26,320 --> 00:06:27,960
in their whole history!

168
00:06:27,960 --> 00:06:30,480
What's wrong, young man? Cheer up.

169
00:06:30,480 --> 00:06:33,040
I'll let you drink some
horse blood at break time.

170
00:06:33,040 --> 00:06:34,720
CLASS: Eww!

171
00:06:34,720 --> 00:06:36,760
What? It'll make you strong.

172
00:06:36,760 --> 00:06:39,520
Will it make me as strong
as Kit Land from 7D?

173
00:06:39,520 --> 00:06:40,600
He picks on me.

174
00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:43,720
Where is this land of the 7D
you speak of?

175
00:06:43,720 --> 00:06:47,080
MRS THOMAS: I think I may have
misjudged Mr Genghis Khan.

176
00:06:47,080 --> 00:06:50,400
Sorry to bother you. Uh, class 7F
have just invaded 7D.

177
00:06:50,400 --> 00:06:52,880
Um, excu... Uh...

178
00:06:52,880 --> 00:06:53,920
Sorry.

179
00:06:55,360 --> 00:06:59,480
Mr Genghis Khan, we do not allow
violence in this school.

180
00:06:59,480 --> 00:07:01,440
Please make sure
it doesn't happen again.

181
00:07:01,440 --> 00:07:02,840
No more violence. Got it.

182
00:07:02,840 --> 00:07:06,320
Come on, children. Shuffle, shuffle.

183
00:07:08,240 --> 00:07:09,520
One way to avoid violence

184
00:07:09,520 --> 00:07:12,360
is to utterly destroy
your enemy cities!

185
00:07:12,360 --> 00:07:16,720
Who wants to burn down the canteen?!
CLASS: Yeah!

186
00:07:16,720 --> 00:07:19,160
NARRATOR: Mr Genghis Khan
has not been asked back.

187
00:07:19,160 --> 00:07:23,600
And Mrs Thomas is once again looking
for a new geography teacher.

188
00:07:23,600 --> 00:07:25,280
Ooh, tomato juice.

189
00:07:25,280 --> 00:07:26,280
And a new canteen.

190
00:07:26,280 --> 00:07:27,920
But that's tomorrow's problem,

191
00:07:27,920 --> 00:07:30,040
here on Historical Educating.
Ack! Ack!

192
00:07:32,640 --> 00:07:34,680
You might think being
an emperor is easy,

193
00:07:34,680 --> 00:07:37,000
and that once you've got
all the conquering out of the way,

194
00:07:37,000 --> 00:07:39,680
you can just sit back and chill.

195
00:07:39,680 --> 00:07:44,040
Well, bad luck, because keeping hold
of power is hard work.

196
00:07:44,040 --> 00:07:48,040
Take Emperor Justinian II,
ruler of the Byzantine Empire.

197
00:07:48,040 --> 00:07:51,520
He got overthrown,
had his nose cut off,

198
00:07:51,520 --> 00:07:53,520
and was banished from his home.

199
00:07:53,520 --> 00:07:58,560
Then ten years later, he
was back on the throne.

200
00:07:58,560 --> 00:07:59,720
Picture the scene.

201
00:07:59,720 --> 00:08:00,880
You're Justinian II,

202
00:08:00,880 --> 00:08:03,600
ruler of the Byzantine Empire.

203
00:08:03,600 --> 00:08:05,720
It's kind of a continuation
of the Roman Empire,

204
00:08:05,720 --> 00:08:10,360
but based here in Constantinople
instead of here in Rome.

205
00:08:10,360 --> 00:08:11,720
Things are going great
when suddenly...

206
00:08:11,720 --> 00:08:14,880
Ahh!
..this happens.

207
00:08:14,880 --> 00:08:16,640
My rival's stolen my throne.

208
00:08:16,640 --> 00:08:18,320
And cut off my nose

209
00:08:18,320 --> 00:08:20,680
so that no one would ever
let me be emperor again.

210
00:08:20,680 --> 00:08:25,080
Uh-oh. Having no nose is a big no-no
for a Byzantine emperor.

211
00:08:25,080 --> 00:08:28,480
They're expected to look physically
perfect, like gods.

212
00:08:28,480 --> 00:08:29,640
Whoa! What happened, man?

213
00:08:29,640 --> 00:08:31,520
You pick your nose with an axe?

214
00:08:31,520 --> 00:08:33,080
Some emperor YOU'D be!

215
00:08:33,080 --> 00:08:35,120
I guess there's nothing I can do.

216
00:08:35,120 --> 00:08:36,240
Not so fast.

217
00:08:36,240 --> 00:08:39,160
Here at Byzantium Bling,
we've got the solution for you.

218
00:08:39,160 --> 00:08:40,480
A golden nose!

219
00:08:42,640 --> 00:08:44,680
Wow, it's so shiny!

220
00:08:44,680 --> 00:08:46,280
And heavy. Whoa.

221
00:08:46,280 --> 00:08:48,240
I've got a nose again.

222
00:08:48,240 --> 00:08:51,560
And it's not just per...perfect,
it's solid gold.

223
00:08:51,560 --> 00:08:52,960
Now no-one can say

224
00:08:52,960 --> 00:08:55,000
you don't look good
enough to rule again.

225
00:08:55,000 --> 00:08:57,240
Hey, great 24-carat conk!

226
00:08:57,240 --> 00:08:59,920
You can rule over my empire
at any time.

227
00:08:59,920 --> 00:09:01,800
Thanks, Byzantium Bling.

228
00:09:02,840 --> 00:09:04,720
Order your golden schnoz today,

229
00:09:04,720 --> 00:09:08,000
and Byzantium Bling will throw
in a free set of imperial robes.

230
00:09:09,200 --> 00:09:10,280
Wow!

231
00:09:10,280 --> 00:09:13,760
Get your golden nose
at Byzantium Bling today.

232
00:09:13,760 --> 00:09:15,880
My emperor's got no nose!

233
00:09:15,880 --> 00:09:17,280
How does he smell?

234
00:09:17,280 --> 00:09:18,640
Fabulous.

235
00:09:18,640 --> 00:09:20,160
Ohh!
(THUMP!)

236
00:09:20,160 --> 00:09:21,480
No refunds.

237
00:09:21,480 --> 00:09:23,560
(LAUGHS)

238
00:09:23,560 --> 00:09:26,200
Make way for Qin Shi Huang,

239
00:09:26,200 --> 00:09:28,800
the first and probably only
emperor of China,

240
00:09:28,800 --> 00:09:32,960
for he will live forever thanks to
the magic potion he's been drinking.

241
00:09:32,960 --> 00:09:34,760
He's in the prime of life!

242
00:09:34,760 --> 00:09:37,960
Sir, the Emperor's
been very quiet in there.

243
00:09:37,960 --> 00:09:39,560
Do you think you should
check on him?

244
00:09:39,560 --> 00:09:42,400
OK. He's probably just thinking
about how healthy he is.

245
00:09:47,880 --> 00:09:49,640
Yep. Still dead.

246
00:09:49,640 --> 00:09:52,440
He's fine. Off we go.
Really?

247
00:09:52,440 --> 00:09:54,520
Yeah. He's just got a sore
throat, so he can't talk.

248
00:09:54,520 --> 00:09:55,720
May I see?

249
00:09:57,960 --> 00:09:59,840
Yes, Your Majesty? He says no.

250
00:09:59,840 --> 00:10:01,400
I thought you said he couldn't talk.

251
00:10:01,400 --> 00:10:04,320
He said it with his eyes. Off we go!

252
00:10:04,320 --> 00:10:06,120
If the Emperor is ill,

253
00:10:06,120 --> 00:10:09,400
then shouldn't we call
for his oldest son, Fusu?

254
00:10:09,400 --> 00:10:11,440
No, we are not calling for Fusu.

255
00:10:11,440 --> 00:10:13,520
I know you don't get on with him

256
00:10:13,520 --> 00:10:16,960
and, yes, he will sack you
if he takes charge, but...

257
00:10:16,960 --> 00:10:18,640
The Emperor is perfectly healthy.

258
00:10:18,640 --> 00:10:21,640
Well, the Emperor
did write this letter

259
00:10:21,640 --> 00:10:25,200
that says Fusu should take over
if he were to die.

260
00:10:25,200 --> 00:10:27,000
We don't need that.
The Emperor is full of beans.

261
00:10:27,000 --> 00:10:28,040
In fact...

262
00:10:29,800 --> 00:10:34,480
Uh-huh. Yeah. Mm-hm. Uh-huh. Yeah.

263
00:10:34,480 --> 00:10:38,880
The Emperor says destroy the silly
letter and carry on with the parade,

264
00:10:38,880 --> 00:10:42,440
which he will enjoy quietly
from inside his litter.

265
00:10:42,440 --> 00:10:47,920
Oh, what's that smell?
That will be the fish.

266
00:10:47,920 --> 00:10:51,520
The Emperor never goes anywhere
without his lucky cart of fish.

267
00:10:51,520 --> 00:10:53,080
That smells awful.

268
00:10:53,080 --> 00:10:55,560
So? It's not like
it's the kind of... (GAGS) ..smell

269
00:10:55,560 --> 00:10:58,840
you'd use to cover up the stink
of a dead body or anything.

270
00:10:58,840 --> 00:11:02,440
Are you sure he's OK in there?
Oh, fine.

271
00:11:02,440 --> 00:11:03,720
I'll go and get him.

272
00:11:03,720 --> 00:11:05,520
Come on, sire. Out you pop.

273
00:11:07,640 --> 00:11:11,160
(MIMICS EMPEROR) I want you to write
a new letter telling Fusu I hate him

274
00:11:11,160 --> 00:11:13,640
and that he should
stab himself to death.

275
00:11:13,640 --> 00:11:15,280
Well, if you insist, sire.

276
00:11:15,280 --> 00:11:20,040
OK, let's get this tour back on the
road before everything falls apart.

277
00:11:20,040 --> 00:11:22,120
(QUIETLY) Including the Emperor.

278
00:11:22,120 --> 00:11:27,280
Make way for Qin Shi Huang of China,
who's feeling great!

279
00:11:28,840 --> 00:11:32,280
Running a truly massive empire
isn't easy,

280
00:11:32,280 --> 00:11:35,880
and every empire that rises
must one day fall.

281
00:11:35,880 --> 00:11:38,560
Even the most famous empires of all.

282
00:11:38,560 --> 00:11:40,280
Take the Roman Empire.

283
00:11:40,280 --> 00:11:42,360
It existed for hundreds of years,

284
00:11:42,360 --> 00:11:47,600
invading and taking over large parts
of Europe, Africa and Asia.

285
00:11:47,600 --> 00:11:49,880
But they got
a taste of their own medicine

286
00:11:49,880 --> 00:11:55,520
when Attila the Hun and his nomadic
Hunnic Empire decided to invade.

287
00:11:55,520 --> 00:11:57,160
Ooh!

288
00:11:57,160 --> 00:12:02,120
Hi, guys. You know, life in Attila's
Hunnic Empire can be so hectic.

289
00:12:02,120 --> 00:12:05,880
But guess what? All that rush
is no reason not to look plush.

290
00:12:05,880 --> 00:12:07,640
That's why today we're here

291
00:12:07,640 --> 00:12:10,920
with our friend from
the Roman Empire, Octavius.

292
00:12:10,920 --> 00:12:14,880
Octavius, come on in.
I can't. You've tied me to a tree.

293
00:12:14,880 --> 00:12:17,880
You know, we Huns
are always making friends

294
00:12:17,880 --> 00:12:19,560
by attacking the Roman Empire

295
00:12:19,560 --> 00:12:22,680
and taking their Roman people away
against their will.

296
00:12:22,680 --> 00:12:24,520
Can you untie me, please?

297
00:12:24,520 --> 00:12:27,840
They get to join our big multiracial
Hun clan!

298
00:12:27,840 --> 00:12:29,000
Or die.

299
00:12:30,880 --> 00:12:34,760
Octavius of Rome, we're gonna put
the hip in your hippodrome

300
00:12:34,760 --> 00:12:36,160
and make you a Hun.

301
00:12:36,160 --> 00:12:38,800
(GROOVY DANCE MUSIC)

302
00:12:47,440 --> 00:12:48,800
You guys in the Roman Empire

303
00:12:48,800 --> 00:12:51,400
may call our leader, Attila,
the Scourge of God,

304
00:12:51,400 --> 00:12:55,080
but you guys are definitely
the scourge of fashion.

305
00:12:55,080 --> 00:12:57,040
Bleah! Honey,
where did it all go wrong?

306
00:12:57,040 --> 00:12:59,040
It went wrong when you guys invaded

307
00:12:59,040 --> 00:13:00,560
and burned down my town.

308
00:13:00,560 --> 00:13:01,800
(CHUCKLES)
Makeover time!

309
00:13:04,920 --> 00:13:08,440
Let's start with, like, a simple,
basic Hunnic head stretch.

310
00:13:08,440 --> 00:13:10,440
Sorry, did you say stretch?
That's right.

311
00:13:10,440 --> 00:13:13,000
We're gonna wrap your head
so tightly in bandages

312
00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:15,600
that it stretches
and goes all pointy like ours.

313
00:13:15,600 --> 00:13:18,400
And all that facial hair
is going to come right off.

314
00:13:18,400 --> 00:13:20,320
Aw, we wouldn't really use that.

315
00:13:20,320 --> 00:13:21,400
No way!

316
00:13:21,400 --> 00:13:22,960
We're gonna burn it off.

317
00:13:22,960 --> 00:13:24,160
Yay!

318
00:13:24,160 --> 00:13:25,600
Please don't burn me.

319
00:13:25,600 --> 00:13:27,480
Aw. You OK, hun?

320
00:13:31,760 --> 00:13:35,080
So, I've been thinking
mainly leathers and animal skins.

321
00:13:35,080 --> 00:13:38,320
They're warm, they're hard-wearing,
and they look fantastic.

322
00:13:38,320 --> 00:13:40,280
On someone with muscles.

323
00:13:40,280 --> 00:13:43,480
Oh! talk about a Roman SADiator,
am I right?

324
00:13:43,480 --> 00:13:46,640
And what better way to get fit
than by fighting a bear?

325
00:13:46,640 --> 00:13:48,400
Fighting a what?

326
00:13:48,400 --> 00:13:51,320
OMG, you got a bear. That is so you.

327
00:13:51,320 --> 00:13:52,320
It is.
Help!

328
00:13:52,320 --> 00:13:54,120
(BEAR GROWLING)

329
00:13:54,120 --> 00:13:57,480
Oh, talk about being a barBEARian.
(SCREAMS)

330
00:13:57,480 --> 00:13:59,840
Aww.
I think that bear really likes him.

331
00:13:59,840 --> 00:14:00,840
Ahh! Not the face!

332
00:14:04,200 --> 00:14:06,640
When we met Octavius,
he was living happily

333
00:14:06,640 --> 00:14:09,160
with his family
inside the Roman Empire.

334
00:14:09,160 --> 00:14:11,080
Whatever.

335
00:14:11,080 --> 00:14:16,280
But now this Roman's gone
from emperor zero to Hunnic hero.

336
00:14:16,280 --> 00:14:19,960
Octavius! Hun, you look fierce!
Rraow!

337
00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:21,800
Yeah. I'm furious!

338
00:14:21,800 --> 00:14:23,000
Look what you've done to my head!

339
00:14:23,000 --> 00:14:25,120
Work it, twerk it, strike a pose!

340
00:14:25,120 --> 00:14:26,600
And now the big question is,

341
00:14:26,600 --> 00:14:29,960
are you going to come pillaging with
us as we burn our way across Europe?

342
00:14:29,960 --> 00:14:33,600
Or are we going to have to, like,
kill you or something?

343
00:14:33,600 --> 00:14:37,200
Let's go raid the Roman Empire, hun.
Yay!

344
00:14:37,200 --> 00:14:39,480
Let's all dance
and then eat raw meat.

345
00:14:39,480 --> 00:14:41,440
See you next time.
Whoo!

346
00:14:44,320 --> 00:14:47,280
The British Empire was
the biggest of them all.

347
00:14:47,280 --> 00:14:49,120
But it started life small -

348
00:14:49,120 --> 00:14:52,160
hundreds of years
before "Britain" had even existed -

349
00:14:52,160 --> 00:14:53,560
when Queen Elizabeth I

350
00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:56,760
granted a royal charter
to the East India Company,

351
00:14:56,760 --> 00:14:58,480
meaning they could travel the world

352
00:14:58,480 --> 00:15:01,440
searching for treasures
they could sell back home.

353
00:15:01,440 --> 00:15:04,520
They brought lots of fancy new items
back to England,

354
00:15:04,520 --> 00:15:08,400
like tea, cotton and silk
and delicious spices,

355
00:15:08,400 --> 00:15:10,440
which made them all very rich.

356
00:15:10,440 --> 00:15:13,560
It was trips like these
that led Britain to become richer

357
00:15:13,560 --> 00:15:16,280
at the expense of
the countries they'd visited,

358
00:15:16,280 --> 00:15:20,440
but that didn't mean those early
trips were ALL successful.

359
00:15:20,440 --> 00:15:21,720
Coming soon,

360
00:15:21,720 --> 00:15:25,920
a band of plucky adventurers
take to the high seas.

361
00:15:25,920 --> 00:15:27,760
With the backing of Queen Elizabeth,

362
00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:31,240
our small fleet of mighty ships
will make history.

363
00:15:31,240 --> 00:15:34,480
The Red Dragon, the Hector,
the Ascension

364
00:15:34,480 --> 00:15:36,160
and the Susan.

365
00:15:36,160 --> 00:15:38,680
Still wish we got a cooler-sounding
fourth boat.

366
00:15:38,680 --> 00:15:40,160
Yeah. Me too.

367
00:15:43,120 --> 00:15:47,240
Loose the topsails!
Nothing can stop us now.

368
00:15:47,240 --> 00:15:49,280
Actually, it's a bit windy.

369
00:15:49,280 --> 00:15:50,760
Right, back to port.

370
00:15:51,880 --> 00:15:54,920
When they eventually
set out two months later,

371
00:15:54,920 --> 00:15:57,040
it went really, really well.

372
00:15:57,040 --> 00:15:58,280
(VOMITS)

373
00:15:58,280 --> 00:16:00,680
It'll take more than a little
sickness to get this crew down.

374
00:16:00,680 --> 00:16:03,760
They laugh in the face of...
I can't take it anymore!

375
00:16:04,480 --> 00:16:05,760
(CRIES OUT)
(SPLASH!)

376
00:16:05,760 --> 00:16:07,360
Did someone just jump off the boat?

377
00:16:07,360 --> 00:16:10,240
I think it's fair to say
morale is a little low.

378
00:16:10,240 --> 00:16:11,760
(VOMITS)

379
00:16:13,280 --> 00:16:16,760
Starring the commander of the fleet,
James Lancaster,

380
00:16:16,760 --> 00:16:21,120
who will lead his men
to foreign treasures in the east.

381
00:16:21,120 --> 00:16:24,480
Behold our Indonesian treasure.

382
00:16:24,480 --> 00:16:26,080
Now we can go home.

383
00:16:26,080 --> 00:16:28,040
Dirtiest-looking diamond
I've ever seen.

384
00:16:28,040 --> 00:16:30,520
These aren't diamonds.
This is pepper.

385
00:16:30,520 --> 00:16:33,960
Worth its weight in gold at home,
and now we've got a whole boatful!

386
00:16:33,960 --> 00:16:35,000
(SNEEZES)

387
00:16:35,000 --> 00:16:39,880
(SNEEZES)
(ALL SNEEZE)

388
00:16:39,880 --> 00:16:42,360
But the journey home isn't easy.

389
00:16:42,360 --> 00:16:46,320
The Red Dragon... (SNEEZES)
..is so badly damaged

390
00:16:46,320 --> 00:16:50,480
that we'll have to... (SNEEZES)
..tow her home with the Hector.

391
00:16:50,480 --> 00:16:52,000
(SNEEZES) Oh...

392
00:16:52,000 --> 00:16:53,920
Sneezed a bit of wee out.

393
00:16:53,920 --> 00:16:58,520
Finally, our adventurers return home
to a new king.

394
00:16:58,520 --> 00:17:02,480
Your Majesty, we bring you
the treasure of the Orient.

395
00:17:02,480 --> 00:17:04,600
Ooh. Excellent news.

396
00:17:04,600 --> 00:17:06,640
It'd be good to get something
other than pepper.

397
00:17:06,640 --> 00:17:08,480
We've got tons of the stuff.
Can't shift it.

398
00:17:08,480 --> 00:17:11,200
Ohh...no!

399
00:17:11,200 --> 00:17:13,600
Great. More pepper.
Just what we need.

400
00:17:13,600 --> 00:17:14,640
Well, I'm not paying for it.

401
00:17:14,640 --> 00:17:16,960
And I don't want you selling it
because I want to sell mine first.

402
00:17:16,960 --> 00:17:20,360
So how are you gonna pay us
if you can't sell the pepper?

403
00:17:20,360 --> 00:17:21,360
(INHALES SHARPLY)
(SNEEZES)

404
00:17:21,360 --> 00:17:22,840
I'll pay you with...
(SNEEZES) ..the treasure.

405
00:17:22,840 --> 00:17:24,480
(SNEEZES)
(ALL SNEEZE)

406
00:17:27,440 --> 00:17:29,120
Coming s-s... Ah...

407
00:17:29,120 --> 00:17:30,840
Oh, no. It's got up my nose too.

408
00:17:30,840 --> 00:17:34,280
(SNEEZES)
(ALL CONTINUE SNEEZING)

409
00:17:34,280 --> 00:17:37,880
The East India Company
sailed around the world,

410
00:17:37,880 --> 00:17:39,960
grew in wealth and size,

411
00:17:39,960 --> 00:17:44,640
and 200 years later was more powerful
than some countries.

412
00:17:44,640 --> 00:17:47,640
This laid the groundwork
for the British Empire,

413
00:17:47,640 --> 00:17:50,360
which ended up
taking over countries entirely

414
00:17:50,360 --> 00:17:53,960
and forcing its ideas and rules
on the local people.

415
00:17:53,960 --> 00:17:57,120
And that didn't make
the Empire very popular.

416
00:17:57,120 --> 00:17:58,880
Mm-mm-mm.

417
00:18:00,920 --> 00:18:04,680
Now, gentlemen, in precisely one
minute's time, we're going to march

418
00:18:04,680 --> 00:18:07,040
as British soldiers...
(STOMACHS GROWL, FARTING)

419
00:18:07,040 --> 00:18:10,240
..fighting for the East India
Company into battle at Seringapatam.

420
00:18:10,240 --> 00:18:11,240
How do you like that?

421
00:18:11,240 --> 00:18:12,800
Any chance we could do it tomorrow,
Colonel?

422
00:18:12,800 --> 00:18:15,160
(FARTING)
No, we cannot do it tomorrow.

423
00:18:15,160 --> 00:18:16,480
We're doing it today.

424
00:18:16,480 --> 00:18:18,600
(WEAKLY) Can we have this
conversation in the shade, sir?

425
00:18:18,600 --> 00:18:22,440
I think my hat has cooked my head.
No, we cannot talk in the shade.

426
00:18:22,440 --> 00:18:24,920
A British soldier
stands where he must,

427
00:18:24,920 --> 00:18:28,840
be that under fire, in the ice
or in the sun.

428
00:18:28,840 --> 00:18:30,960
Is that understood?
(GROANS)

429
00:18:32,800 --> 00:18:33,880
He must be very strong.

430
00:18:33,880 --> 00:18:36,240
I think their leader
just killed a man with his finger.

431
00:18:38,280 --> 00:18:41,640
Why are the British wearing such
ridiculously hot and thick uniforms?

432
00:18:41,640 --> 00:18:43,400
If you're gonna march into someone
else's country,

433
00:18:43,400 --> 00:18:45,200
killing anyone who resists,

434
00:18:45,200 --> 00:18:47,200
least you could do
is dress appropriately.

435
00:18:47,200 --> 00:18:49,480
We're struggling with the sun, sir.
I mean, we all are.

436
00:18:49,480 --> 00:18:52,280
We're not used to it.
Or the fevers, or the water,

437
00:18:52,280 --> 00:18:53,400
or the food. (FARTS)

438
00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:55,640
Oh, sorry. I've got dysentery, sir.

439
00:18:55,640 --> 00:18:57,400
(CONTINUES FARTING)
Oh, Hey! whoa, whoa.

440
00:18:58,600 --> 00:18:59,760
That was a close one.

441
00:18:59,760 --> 00:19:02,280
I don't care if it's a bit hot.

442
00:19:02,280 --> 00:19:05,440
I don't care
if you've got a runny bottom.

443
00:19:05,440 --> 00:19:09,960
I don't care if anyone's got
a little bit of fever.

444
00:19:09,960 --> 00:19:12,560
Lemons. Badgers. Soup fairies!

445
00:19:12,560 --> 00:19:14,320
That's just fever.
He's seeing things.

446
00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:16,600
(FARTING CONSTANTLY)
Ah, ah. Ah! Ah! Oh! Oh! Wow.

447
00:19:17,240 --> 00:19:18,520
Promise I'm trying to keep them in.

448
00:19:18,520 --> 00:19:20,920
(FARTING IN DISTANCE)
Can you hear gunfire?

449
00:19:20,920 --> 00:19:23,520
(CHUCKLES) I think some of them
soldiers are dropping bottom bombs.

450
00:19:23,520 --> 00:19:26,080
They can't handle food with flavour.
It goes straight through them.

451
00:19:26,080 --> 00:19:28,640
It is a mystery
why they keep stealing food from us.

452
00:19:28,640 --> 00:19:30,760
(FARTING)
When they finally leave,

453
00:19:30,760 --> 00:19:32,800
it is going to take an age
to clean up after them.

454
00:19:32,800 --> 00:19:35,440
And to rebuild
all the cities they burned.

455
00:19:35,440 --> 00:19:37,360
(FARTING CONTINUES)
You lot are a disgrace.

456
00:19:37,360 --> 00:19:38,800
Now, you need to be
ready to march...

457
00:19:38,800 --> 00:19:42,880
March? I am standing dead still
and clenching my bum.

458
00:19:42,880 --> 00:19:45,880
If I march,
there's gonna be carnage.

459
00:19:45,880 --> 00:19:48,720
Well, perhaps you'd like
to be excused from battle today.

460
00:19:48,720 --> 00:19:50,760
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
(FARTING CONSTANTLY)

461
00:19:50,760 --> 00:19:53,320
You shah of toilets!

462
00:19:53,320 --> 00:19:56,600
The British Empire covers one sixth
of the world's land!

463
00:19:56,600 --> 00:19:58,960
The British soldiers
are feared around the globe!

464
00:19:58,960 --> 00:20:03,360
Do you really think a bit of heat,
gut-churning is going to stop us?

465
00:20:03,360 --> 00:20:05,160
(FARTS) Ooh.

466
00:20:05,160 --> 00:20:06,960
Yeah, might slow us down, actually.

467
00:20:06,960 --> 00:20:08,240
(FARTS WETLY) Oh!

468
00:20:08,240 --> 00:20:10,320
Gonna need a new uniform.

469
00:20:11,720 --> 00:20:14,600
I just can't believe
we're losing this war to these guys.

470
00:20:14,600 --> 00:20:16,640
They'll go eventually.
They'll have to.

471
00:20:16,640 --> 00:20:18,640
They'll run out of underwear.
(FARTING IN DISTANCE)

472
00:20:18,640 --> 00:20:20,640
(BOTH LAUGH)

473
00:20:22,000 --> 00:20:23,920
Hello!
What do you want?

474
00:20:23,920 --> 00:20:27,400
Well, I know you chaps
don't like change very much.

475
00:20:27,400 --> 00:20:31,320
If by change you mean being invaded
by you, you're right. We don't.

476
00:20:31,320 --> 00:20:34,280
Well, I actually have
some very good news.

477
00:20:34,280 --> 00:20:37,000
Yeah? When are you leaving? (LAUGHS)

478
00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:39,120
(LAUGHS)
(LAUGHS)

479
00:20:39,120 --> 00:20:40,880
No, we're not going anywhere.

480
00:20:40,880 --> 00:20:43,080
But I am bringing in
a new money system.

481
00:20:43,080 --> 00:20:45,160
It's a special West African version

482
00:20:45,160 --> 00:20:48,920
of the British colonial currency
system used across the Empire.

483
00:20:48,920 --> 00:20:51,200
And we have it in Britain too.
Fun fact.

484
00:20:51,200 --> 00:20:52,840
Now, Johnson, if you would.

485
00:20:52,840 --> 00:20:55,240
Behold - a penny.

486
00:20:55,240 --> 00:20:56,560
OK. It sounds simple.

487
00:20:56,560 --> 00:20:58,280
Two halfpennies a penny.

488
00:20:58,280 --> 00:21:00,480
And a tuppence is two pennies.

489
00:21:00,480 --> 00:21:02,000
Thanks for explaining the coins.

490
00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:03,000
Just getting started.

491
00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:04,440
12 pennies make a shilling

492
00:21:04,440 --> 00:21:06,200
and 20 shillings make a pound.

493
00:21:06,200 --> 00:21:08,640
So, a pound is 240 pence.

494
00:21:08,640 --> 00:21:10,760
If you do keep interrupting,
we will be here all day.

495
00:21:10,760 --> 00:21:13,480
Wouldn't it be easier
if we could divide it all by 10?

496
00:21:13,480 --> 00:21:16,880
And use the French decimal system?
How dare you!

497
00:21:16,880 --> 00:21:18,920
Anyway... There's more.

498
00:21:18,920 --> 00:21:21,200
One florin is one tenth of a pound.

499
00:21:21,200 --> 00:21:22,280
Also two shillings.

500
00:21:22,280 --> 00:21:23,520
There are five shillings in a crown,

501
00:21:23,520 --> 00:21:25,680
so obviously there are four crowns
in a pound.

502
00:21:25,680 --> 00:21:27,440
It used to be 21 shillings
to a guinea,

503
00:21:27,440 --> 00:21:28,720
but we don't really use those
anymore.

504
00:21:28,720 --> 00:21:29,720
21?
Yes.

505
00:21:29,720 --> 00:21:32,360
A penny is also one d.
A shilling is known as a bob.

506
00:21:32,360 --> 00:21:33,400
Thruppence is three pennies

507
00:21:33,400 --> 00:21:34,440
or a threepenny bit.

508
00:21:34,440 --> 00:21:36,240
Half a shilling is a sixpence
or a tanner.

509
00:21:36,240 --> 00:21:37,760
Not to be confused with
the £10 note,

510
00:21:37,760 --> 00:21:39,240
which is known as a tenner.

511
00:21:39,240 --> 00:21:42,320
And a fourpence used to be known
as a groat. All clear?

512
00:21:42,320 --> 00:21:44,480
Permission to lie down, sir?
Permission denied!

513
00:21:44,480 --> 00:21:47,960
Can we not just keep using
the cowrie shells and the gold dust?

514
00:21:47,960 --> 00:21:50,040
(SCOFFS)
It's much simpler.

515
00:21:50,040 --> 00:21:52,560
Shells. Who uses shells to trade?

516
00:21:52,560 --> 00:21:56,840
At times most of Africa, Asia,
North America and Australia

517
00:21:56,840 --> 00:21:58,360
and the Middle East.

518
00:21:58,360 --> 00:21:59,840
And I bet it's not as heavy

519
00:21:59,840 --> 00:22:01,840
as carrying around all those coins.

520
00:22:01,840 --> 00:22:05,080
Ah, yeah, well,
that's why we also have paper money.

521
00:22:05,080 --> 00:22:08,400
Flexible and lightweight.
And easy to damage.

522
00:22:08,400 --> 00:22:10,400
You can't use your paper money
around here.

523
00:22:10,400 --> 00:22:12,080
The termites will have it for lunch.

524
00:22:12,080 --> 00:22:13,360
Hey, give me that back!

525
00:22:13,360 --> 00:22:14,600
It's got the king's head on it!

526
00:22:14,600 --> 00:22:16,000
Not anymore it doesn't.

527
00:22:16,000 --> 00:22:17,000
It's treason, isn't it?

528
00:22:17,000 --> 00:22:18,600
Right. I want these termites shot!

529
00:22:18,600 --> 00:22:20,720
I can organise
a really small firing squad, sir.

530
00:22:20,720 --> 00:22:22,840
Yeah. Get a tiny firing squad here.

531
00:22:22,840 --> 00:22:25,240
Look, look, look.
We'll take the coins.

532
00:22:25,240 --> 00:22:27,080
Excellent.
And we'll melt them down

533
00:22:27,080 --> 00:22:28,680
to make something more useful.

534
00:22:28,680 --> 00:22:30,840
Jewellery, decorations,

535
00:22:30,840 --> 00:22:32,760
maybe even a bum scratcher.

536
00:22:32,760 --> 00:22:36,520
What?! You can't use the king's head
as a bum scratcher!

537
00:22:36,520 --> 00:22:39,360
Why would you need a bum scratcher?
For the termites.

538
00:22:39,360 --> 00:22:42,160
You're standing on their nest.
(SCREAMS)

539
00:22:43,920 --> 00:22:46,360
May I have a bum scratcher?
I only take shells.

540
00:22:46,360 --> 00:22:47,480
(LAUGHS)

541
00:22:50,080 --> 00:22:52,680
I wasn't just Queen
of Great Britain, you know.

542
00:22:52,680 --> 00:22:55,600
I was also head of
the British Empire.

543
00:22:55,600 --> 00:23:00,200
Look how big it was. Surely such
a huge empire would last forever.

544
00:23:00,200 --> 00:23:03,080
Some chance. It turned out
quite a lot of people

545
00:23:03,080 --> 00:23:04,960
were unhappy being ruled by us,

546
00:23:04,960 --> 00:23:08,200
and many of them started fighting us
for their independence.

547
00:23:08,200 --> 00:23:12,840
In India, Mahatma Gandhi came up with
a new tactic - not to fight at all.

548
00:23:12,840 --> 00:23:16,520
He launched a series of peaceful
protests which were rather effective,

549
00:23:16,520 --> 00:23:19,000
although of course
he didn't do it alone.

550
00:23:25,040 --> 00:23:26,600
Namaste, Gandhi.

551
00:23:26,600 --> 00:23:31,040
Sarojini Naidu here,
politician, protester, poet.

552
00:23:31,040 --> 00:23:33,080
How's that vow of silence going?

553
00:23:33,080 --> 00:23:35,280
I hear you're not going
to talk on Mondays

554
00:23:35,280 --> 00:23:37,160
until India is free from Britain.

555
00:23:37,160 --> 00:23:41,200
It's a powerful idea. I shall do
the same, starting right now.

556
00:23:42,840 --> 00:23:44,280
How long was that?
(BUZZ!)

557
00:23:44,280 --> 00:23:45,440
A few seconds? Uh...

558
00:23:45,440 --> 00:23:48,760
Well, what can I say,
my ugly angel?

559
00:23:48,760 --> 00:23:50,200
I like talking.

560
00:23:53,640 --> 00:23:55,960
May I remind you
that I am a major figure

561
00:23:55,960 --> 00:23:58,320
in the Indian independence movement?

562
00:23:58,320 --> 00:24:00,200
So maybe lose the silly nicknames.

563
00:24:00,200 --> 00:24:02,120
If the British
thought their prince's visit

564
00:24:02,120 --> 00:24:04,440
was going to make them more popular
in India,

565
00:24:04,440 --> 00:24:05,880
they have had a rude awakening.

566
00:24:05,880 --> 00:24:08,880
Our strikes and closures
have shut the country down!

567
00:24:10,920 --> 00:24:14,440
But we do need to organise
one of our peaceful protests

568
00:24:14,440 --> 00:24:18,920
for Prince Edward's visit to
the Uttar Pradesh University.

569
00:24:20,160 --> 00:24:23,920
OK, Gandhi. No more nicknames,
my little Mickey Mouse.

570
00:24:23,920 --> 00:24:26,600
Don't worry about the prince's
visit to the university.

571
00:24:26,600 --> 00:24:28,880
All the students are walking out
in protest.

572
00:24:28,880 --> 00:24:33,800
It'll be so embarrassing for the
Prince and Britain when he turns up

573
00:24:33,800 --> 00:24:35,400
and there's nobody there.

574
00:24:35,400 --> 00:24:38,440
Hang on. Prince Edward
has just posted a story.

575
00:24:41,960 --> 00:24:43,160
Good afternoon.

576
00:24:43,160 --> 00:24:44,800
Except it is NOT
a good afternoon.

577
00:24:44,800 --> 00:24:47,120
I have just visited
your university,

578
00:24:47,120 --> 00:24:50,000
and I must say I am not happy.

579
00:24:50,000 --> 00:24:52,560
As if your little walk-out protest
was bad enough,

580
00:24:52,560 --> 00:24:55,400
the university governors are trying
to make it seem like the students

581
00:24:55,400 --> 00:24:58,880
are still there by filling the halls
with Europeans

582
00:24:58,880 --> 00:25:01,200
and children -
like this one!

583
00:25:01,200 --> 00:25:03,320
Me, a child?!

584
00:25:03,320 --> 00:25:05,400
I'm 59 and three-quarters.

585
00:25:05,400 --> 00:25:07,080
I'll be writing to
the King to tell him

586
00:25:07,080 --> 00:25:09,200
that this trip
cost millions of rupees,

587
00:25:09,200 --> 00:25:11,720
and you have turned it
into a farce!

588
00:25:13,240 --> 00:25:16,160
It worked! Yes!
The royal visit is a disaster.

589
00:25:16,160 --> 00:25:17,280
We must keep the pressure up.

590
00:25:17,280 --> 00:25:20,720
More burning of British imported
cloth, and more strikes.

591
00:25:20,720 --> 00:25:21,920
More no talking on...

592
00:25:23,400 --> 00:25:25,680
Oh. Oh, it's...it's Monday?

593
00:25:25,680 --> 00:25:27,320
Oh, no, I...I shouldn't be...

594
00:25:30,560 --> 00:25:33,080
That's it, Gandhi. We'll show them.

595
00:25:33,080 --> 00:25:35,440
No more talking
until India is independent.

596
00:25:35,440 --> 00:25:36,480
Go!

597
00:25:38,000 --> 00:25:39,800
Is India independent yet?
MAN: No.

598
00:25:39,800 --> 00:25:41,640
WOMAN: Shh!
Oh.

599
00:25:41,640 --> 00:25:42,680
Oops.

600
00:25:44,800 --> 00:25:47,520
Despite Gandhi
and his comrades' hard work,

601
00:25:47,520 --> 00:25:51,800
India didn't gain its independence
until 1947.

602
00:25:51,800 --> 00:25:54,600
Other countries also fought
to rule themselves.

603
00:25:54,600 --> 00:25:57,920
And so the sun began to set on
the British Empire,

604
00:25:57,920 --> 00:26:00,320
just as it had on
all the other empires before.

605
00:26:00,320 --> 00:26:02,680
Here to explain more
is Augustus of Rome,

606
00:26:02,680 --> 00:26:04,320
Napoleon of France,

607
00:26:04,320 --> 00:26:06,320
and Britain's Queen Victoria.

608
00:26:06,320 --> 00:26:11,360

heir to Julius Caesar

609
00:26:12,480 --> 00:26:17,880

One of history's greatest leaders

610
00:26:17,880 --> 00:26:22,040

I sure gave them what for

611
00:26:22,040 --> 00:26:27,360

and ended our civil war

612
00:26:27,360 --> 00:26:32,800

adding countries to the list

613
00:26:32,800 --> 00:26:35,880

with well-armed legions

614
00:26:35,880 --> 00:26:38,280

But

615
00:26:38,280 --> 00:26:41,760
ALL:

616
00:26:41,760 --> 00:26:44,040
BACKING SINGERS:

617
00:26:44,040 --> 00:26:47,080


618
00:26:47,080 --> 00:26:48,720


619
00:26:48,720 --> 00:26:53,920

of the Roman Empire in decline

620
00:26:53,920 --> 00:26:58,120


621
00:26:58,120 --> 00:27:00,600


622
00:27:04,640 --> 00:27:06,960


623
00:27:06,960 --> 00:27:09,600


624
00:27:09,600 --> 00:27:12,280


625
00:27:12,280 --> 00:27:14,960


626
00:27:14,960 --> 00:27:19,800

from Mali to Martinique

627
00:27:19,800 --> 00:27:24,480

and we were forced to retreat

628
00:27:24,480 --> 00:27:27,800

3 million lives lost

629
00:27:27,800 --> 00:27:30,360


630
00:27:30,360 --> 00:27:35,120

pleased when I met my Waterloo

631
00:27:35,120 --> 00:27:38,760



632
00:27:38,760 --> 00:27:40,840


633
00:27:40,840 --> 00:27:44,400


634
00:27:44,400 --> 00:27:46,080


635
00:27:46,080 --> 00:27:48,520


636
00:27:48,520 --> 00:27:51,160


637
00:27:51,160 --> 00:27:55,600


638
00:27:55,600 --> 00:27:57,160


639
00:27:57,160 --> 00:27:58,920


640
00:27:58,920 --> 00:28:01,320


641
00:28:01,320 --> 00:28:06,720

we founded British colonies

642
00:28:06,720 --> 00:28:11,360

and once one was off the scene

643
00:28:12,400 --> 00:28:16,680

Independence was their dream

644
00:28:17,760 --> 00:28:21,120


645
00:28:21,120 --> 00:28:22,680


646
00:28:22,680 --> 00:28:25,920


647
00:28:25,920 --> 00:28:27,760


648
00:28:27,760 --> 00:28:30,560

to increase our size

649
00:28:30,560 --> 00:28:31,760


650
00:28:31,760 --> 00:28:33,040


651
00:28:33,040 --> 00:28:35,520

we've found

652
00:28:35,520 --> 00:28:36,680


653
00:28:36,680 --> 00:28:38,200


654
00:28:38,200 --> 00:28:42,880

on the wall

655
00:28:42,880 --> 00:28:46,520